The attention we give ourselves
We give our attention to so many things each day. To other people. To work. To messages. To things that need doing. To whatever happens to catch our attention along the way.
Somewhere in all of that, there is ourselves.
I’m curious about how much attention we actually give ourselves.
When everyone else comes first
We can become very good at noticing what other people need. We remember the things they have told us. We think about how they're doing. We make time for them. Our own thoughts and feelings can be there too, but they may have to wait.
There is always something else that seems more important.
When we have a moment to ourselves
Sometimes we finally have some time alone and don't quite know what to do with it. We pick up our phone. Put something on. Check what is happening. Start thinking about what needs doing next. The moment passes, and we haven't really noticed ourselves at all.
What might we notice?
Giving ourselves attention doesn't necessarily mean spending more time alone or stopping everything else. It might be as simple as noticing how we are feeling before moving on to the next thing.
Noticing that we're tired. Noticing that something is bothering us. Noticing that we are enjoying something.
Even noticing that we don't really know how we feel.
Staying with ourselves
We don't always need to solve what we notice.
Sometimes we can simply let a thought be there, or acknowledge a feeling without needing to do anything about it.
Our attention will naturally drift. We will get caught up in other people, other thoughts and everything happening around us.
We can notice that too, and return.
Giving ourselves some of our own attention
We spend so much of our lives giving our attention away.
Perhaps sometimes we can remember to give some of it to ourselves, alongside the people and things that matter to us. After all, “the kindest thing we can give ourselves is our own attention.”
I wonder what you might notice the next time you have a moment to yourself, and where your attention goes.