When we lose touch with ourselves

Our attention can become so focused on the people around us that we stop noticing what is happening within us. We might be caring for others, listening to what they need, or simply moving through the demands of everyday life. Somewhere along the way, we may become less aware of our own thoughts, feelings and needs.

I’m curious about what happens when our attention becomes so focused on others that we stop noticing ourselves.

When our attention is always elsewhere

There can be many reasons our attention turns towards other people. We may care deeply about someone. We may be supporting them through something difficult. We may simply be used to noticing what others need before we notice ourselves.

Our attention can drift so far towards others that we become less aware of what is happening within us.

When we forget to notice ourselves

Sometimes we can become so familiar with putting others first that we hardly notice we are doing it. We might know when someone else needs a break, but not notice that we need one too. We might listen carefully to how someone else is feeling, while becoming less aware of how we are feeling ourselves.

We can become very good at noticing what is happening around us while losing touch with what is happening within us.

When we pause and notice

Perhaps noticing ourselves doesn't have to mean stepping away from the people we care about.

We might simply pause long enough to notice how we are feeling. We might notice that we're tired, that something is bothering us, or that we need a little space. Sometimes we may not know exactly what we need.

Perhaps noticing is enough for the moment.

Returning to ourselves

Returning our attention to ourselves doesn't mean turning away from others.

It might mean noticing that we are here too.

We might take a breath. We might notice what we are feeling. We might give ourselves a moment before continuing with whatever comes next. Our attention will drift towards other people, responsibilities and everything happening around us. That's part of being human.

Perhaps the kindest response is not to judge ourselves for losing touch with ourselves, but to notice when it happens and gently return.

I wonder what you might notice the next time you realise you've been paying attention to everyone else, but not quite to yourself.