Always being on
There can be a feeling that we are never quite off.
Even when we have finished work, left the office or put the day's responsibilities aside, there can still be something waiting for our attention. A message might arrive, an email might need answering, something might have happened while we were away. We don't necessarily need to respond. Sometimes we don't even receive anything. Yet, part of us can remain alert to the possibility that something might.
I’m curious about what happens when our attention rarely gets to switch off completely.
The possibility of something happening
Being “on” isn't always about doing. It can be about anticipating.
We might check our phone without having received a notification. We might wonder whether someone has replied. We might think about what could be waiting for us when we next look. Even while watching a film, having dinner or spending time with someone, part of our attention can remain open to what might happen elsewhere.
Our attention has drifted towards the possibility rather than the thing in front of us.
When there is no clear off
There used to be more obvious boundaries around some parts of life.
Work had a place we went to. A telephone stayed in one place. When the day was over, there could be a clearer sense that we had finished. Those boundaries haven't necessarily disappeared, but they have become easier to cross. We can carry work, communication, news and entertainment with us almost everywhere.
That can be wonderfully convenient, but it also means that being “off” now requires a little more intention.
The space between things
I don't think being “on” is something we consciously choose most of the time. It can simply develop through habit.
We finish one thing and immediately check another. We put our phone down but wonder whether anything has arrived. We sit quietly but find ourselves thinking about what needs doing next. Our attention can drift towards what is waiting for us, even when nothing is actually asking for us yet.
The interesting moment is when we notice that.
Letting ourselves be off
There will always be things that need our attention.
Some messages need answering, some people need us and some situations cannot wait. There can also be moments when nothing needs us right now.
Caring for our attention means allowing ourselves to notice those moments. We might leave the phone in another room, finish the day without checking one more thing or sit without anticipating what might come next. We don't need to become completely disconnected. We might still check. We might still respond. We might give ourselves a little time when our attention doesn't need to be ready for anything.
Our attention will naturally drift towards what might happen next. The kindest response is sometimes to notice that nothing needs our attention right now — and let ourselves be off.
I wonder what you might notice the next time you realise you are still “on” when nothing is asking you to be.