Being here, but not really here

We can be somewhere without really being there.

We might be sitting with someone, walking through a familiar place or eating a meal, while our attention is somewhere else. We can be physically present, but our thoughts may be in the past, worrying about what comes next, or caught up in something on our phone.

I’m curious about what happens when we are here, but our attention isn't quite here with us.

When our attention is somewhere else

Sometimes it's obvious.

We might be looking at our phone while someone is talking to us. Checking a message while having dinner. Thinking about work while we're spending time with family. Other times it's much harder to notice.

We might be looking at the person in front of us while thinking about something completely different.

We are there.

But part of us is somewhere else.

When technology is nearby

Our phones have made it easy to take our attention somewhere else.

A notification appears. We wonder who has messaged. We think about checking something. We remember something we wanted to look up.

We don't always pick up the phone.

Sometimes simply knowing it is there is enough to draw a little of our attention away.

When we miss what's happening

The moment we're in doesn't necessarily announce itself.

A conversation moves on. Someone says something we don't quite hear. We walk past something without noticing it. A quiet moment comes and goes.

Nothing dramatic has happened.

We have missed something because our attention was somewhere else.

Coming back

Yet we also need to realise that we cannot keep our attention in one place all the time. It will naturally drift and we will think about other things. We will get distracted.

Perhaps being present isn't about making ourselves stay here perfectly. Maybe it's about noticing when we aren't. We might look up from our phone. Listen to the person beside us. Notice where we are. Hear the sounds around us.

We can return our attention to what is happening now.

Being here

There will always be things competing for our attention.

Technology is one of them.

Perhaps sometimes the kindest thing we can do is notice when we've drifted away from where we actually are, because we can be right here, and still miss being here.

I wonder what you might notice the next time you realise you're somewhere, but your attention is somewhere else.